Let's face it, Donald Trump is the ultimate cyber bully. His constant goal in all of his electronic communications is to build himself up and tear others down. There is really no need to list the examples, because, by now, everyone has a mental list and, unfortunately, it's a list that keeps on growing. The key to understanding the President's explosions on Twitter is to recognize that his goal is to vent and, having done so, he is ready to move on with little or no thought to the consequences of his actions.
Now don't get me wrong, I believe that everyone needs the chance to vent. The difficulty is that in our age of instant messaging, what might in the past have been a rant at the dinner table, followed by some reflection and perhaps tempered in conversation with friends and family members is, instead, often immediately shot through cyberspace at an unsuspecting target.
Heads can be as guilty of this as anyone else. It is an occupational hazard that the higher up you are in an organization, the more likely a target for complaint that you become. A very thick skin, and non-itchy trigger finger are essential pre-requisites for the job. As a corollary to this, the electronic musings or unfiltered comments made by Heads have a disproportionate impact, and shelf-life, due to the status of their position. In short, unlike Donald Trump, an effective Head absorbs caustic and often hurtful comments, reflects on their core messages and responds in a calm, open and conciliatory manner. This is not a win-lose power struggle, it is an exercise in issues management.
Effective communication is nuanced. It assumes a relationship, either personal or professional, and it depends on the opportunity for actual give and take. It is also most effective when it takes place in a calm and cordial atmosphere of sharing and collaborative problem-solving. At our school, that is still how the vast majority of parent-teacher conversations take place - a phone call, a pop in visit, or a formal interview - personal, face to face, human interaction. We are a small and intimate community and, in spite of the occasional glitch, it usually runs pretty smoothly.
Unfortunately, it would appear that that approach is rapidly becoming the exception, not the rule! In our age of instant messaging, someone's initial outrage over an issue has become the stuff of public record. Comments permanently posted on the web arrive there without context, and without the tone of voice, or note of exasperation, or raised eyebrow that would cause a personal audience to take it with a grain of salt and see it for what it was.
As adults, we should know better, and as parents and professional educators, we should do better. Every teacher, tutor, or administrator receives the occasional sarcastic (and sometimes nasty) email from a parent about some perceived injustice done to their daughter or son. In our instant age, we know how this happens. A person gets ginned up, bangs something out, and sends it. The content and the language are such that they would never use over the phone or in person. But in an email, tweet, or social media comment, they can make the most outlandish remarks without fear of interruption or contradiction. And, all too often, the receiving faculty member or administrator, offended and upset by what they feel to be an unwarranted attack, responds in kind. Each party's spin on things becomes a part of the permanent cyber record and no matter how many subsequent conversations or comments lower the temperature of the discussion, the original exchange remains, white hot, frozen in time and cyberspace.
Having all suffered (and often committed!) these abuses of electronic communication we should, and must, do better to prevent them from happening in the future. Because, once we press send, the damage has been done. The ripple effects of a rash email or tweet are unpredictable. Hopefully they will dissipate quickly like the aftermath of a brief summer shower - but perhaps, if we are lucky, the lesson learned will have much more permanence.
When, on an early Saturday morning, President Trump tweeted "How low has President Obama gone to tap my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!” He was responding to a random news story speculating about how information might have been gathered on members of his transition team. Having vented, he went on to play golf while a firestorm ignited based upon his throw-away comments.
It is now three weeks later, and the White House, Congress, and the intelligence community are still reverberating with the impact of this random and impulsive communication. It should be a lesson to us all as to when to press send, and when to just press delete.
Next post will look at how to get off "send" and get on "receive".
Now don't get me wrong, I believe that everyone needs the chance to vent. The difficulty is that in our age of instant messaging, what might in the past have been a rant at the dinner table, followed by some reflection and perhaps tempered in conversation with friends and family members is, instead, often immediately shot through cyberspace at an unsuspecting target.
Heads can be as guilty of this as anyone else. It is an occupational hazard that the higher up you are in an organization, the more likely a target for complaint that you become. A very thick skin, and non-itchy trigger finger are essential pre-requisites for the job. As a corollary to this, the electronic musings or unfiltered comments made by Heads have a disproportionate impact, and shelf-life, due to the status of their position. In short, unlike Donald Trump, an effective Head absorbs caustic and often hurtful comments, reflects on their core messages and responds in a calm, open and conciliatory manner. This is not a win-lose power struggle, it is an exercise in issues management.
Effective communication is nuanced. It assumes a relationship, either personal or professional, and it depends on the opportunity for actual give and take. It is also most effective when it takes place in a calm and cordial atmosphere of sharing and collaborative problem-solving. At our school, that is still how the vast majority of parent-teacher conversations take place - a phone call, a pop in visit, or a formal interview - personal, face to face, human interaction. We are a small and intimate community and, in spite of the occasional glitch, it usually runs pretty smoothly.
Unfortunately, it would appear that that approach is rapidly becoming the exception, not the rule! In our age of instant messaging, someone's initial outrage over an issue has become the stuff of public record. Comments permanently posted on the web arrive there without context, and without the tone of voice, or note of exasperation, or raised eyebrow that would cause a personal audience to take it with a grain of salt and see it for what it was.
As adults, we should know better, and as parents and professional educators, we should do better. Every teacher, tutor, or administrator receives the occasional sarcastic (and sometimes nasty) email from a parent about some perceived injustice done to their daughter or son. In our instant age, we know how this happens. A person gets ginned up, bangs something out, and sends it. The content and the language are such that they would never use over the phone or in person. But in an email, tweet, or social media comment, they can make the most outlandish remarks without fear of interruption or contradiction. And, all too often, the receiving faculty member or administrator, offended and upset by what they feel to be an unwarranted attack, responds in kind. Each party's spin on things becomes a part of the permanent cyber record and no matter how many subsequent conversations or comments lower the temperature of the discussion, the original exchange remains, white hot, frozen in time and cyberspace.
Having all suffered (and often committed!) these abuses of electronic communication we should, and must, do better to prevent them from happening in the future. Because, once we press send, the damage has been done. The ripple effects of a rash email or tweet are unpredictable. Hopefully they will dissipate quickly like the aftermath of a brief summer shower - but perhaps, if we are lucky, the lesson learned will have much more permanence.
When, on an early Saturday morning, President Trump tweeted "How low has President Obama gone to tap my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!” He was responding to a random news story speculating about how information might have been gathered on members of his transition team. Having vented, he went on to play golf while a firestorm ignited based upon his throw-away comments.
It is now three weeks later, and the White House, Congress, and the intelligence community are still reverberating with the impact of this random and impulsive communication. It should be a lesson to us all as to when to press send, and when to just press delete.
Next post will look at how to get off "send" and get on "receive".
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